Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Time Is Relative But Becoming Irrelevant

It’s been a long time since I’ve updated this- in fact it may not be that long at all because I feel like I'm losing the concept I time. The update, as you can probably guess, is another learning one and not really an update of events. There will be things to announce at some point just not yet... I know... what a tease...
           This journey, over two and a half years now, has been brilliant and there has been so much more going on in my head, and in my life, than will ever be written about in this blog. Something I do want to record is that this whole process is teaching me to be a better person. That statement may be strange to some but to me it’s an attitude and way of living that is almost part of my DNA. There are some absolutes I believe in and one of these is that there are ways to be a good person and ways to be a bad one. I won’t get into a moral or philosophical debate but the good characteristic I want to write about today is having patience. There are obviously hundreds of things that can make someone good but patience is today’s topic and something I often think about. There are several types of patience: patience with circumstance, patience with people, patience in a crisis events and patience with ourselves (I’m sure there are more types but these are the obvious to me). I know I’ve talked about this before but in a way this is an update on the subject.
            The main point to start with is that I’m terrible at being patient (I’ve mentioned this before, probably several time). The type of patience I’m worst at is patience with my circumstance. Patience with people isn’t great but I think I’m doing okay with it. (I’m just thankful for the patience people show me despite my craziness). Patience with circumstance was never a problem at high school, as every fifty minutes the subject change. I had variation within school, a social life, work, and any spare time was either spent reading or exercising. It was a great life and in some ways I miss it. My life slowed down a bit at University but there was always something to keep me busy. Since leaving and having the health problems I cannot do as much as I want and because of this I’ve learned a lot about patience, being comfortable spending time by myself, and not worrying about how fast or slow things are moving in my life.
             How does this relate to the book? Well I don’t get frustrated any more with the fact this seems like a constant fight that is going no where. In January it will be three years since I started writing stories and to me it has felt like several life times. The difference is that it doesn’t bother me any more. Whether I get frustrated or not makes no difference and although it has been a source of motivation to work harder, it’s pointless.
Thanks to my journey with writing (and other parts of my life out of my control) I can now accept my circumstances better and just get on with the work and not feel happy or sad about it. It’s so much better this way as it stresses me out less. The great thing is that this pans over to all my life and I’m so much more relaxed about my life. Things will happen when they happen and I’ve got plenty of work to keep me busy. When the time is right to try and get exposure then I’ll do that again, but there is no rush to do that and I’m okay with it. On the surface it seems like I don’t care, but if you know me that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Having said all this I had a bombshell recently that makes me want to move things forward at a faster pace again. It was certainly a test of putting theory into practice. I want awesome adventures so bad, but they will happen when they happen. I’m doing everything I can to make my dreams come true, what more can I give? Not getting angry or frustrated by my limitations, or how long this has felt at times, is proof I’m learning. Time is relative but becoming irrelevant.
Lastly I want to say I’m thankful for my life, for my amazing family and friends, and for those who are helping me more than I feel like I deserve. I know there will be fun times ahead and everyone’s patience with me will pay off. It may make little sense now but I can promise you that.

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